8.3b Gendered Sexual Socialization
Gender socialization and sexual socialization are connected. Sexual socialization refers to how people learn the expectations about behavior and attitudes that are associated with sexual behaviors and sexuality. Gendered sexual socialization is how people learn sexual norms linked with their gender. For example, parents tolerate and reward the cross-gender play of girls but discourage it among boys. They often fear cross-gender play among boys, like playing with a doll will lead to their son being gay (Gansen & Martin, 2018).
Gansen (2017) studied how gendered sexual socialization occurred in preschool classrooms. Over ten months, she observed nine classrooms at three preschools in Michigan, visiting twice a week for five hours each day (more than 400 hours). Her observations included 116 children aged three to five years and 22 teachers. Gansen’s observational data provides evidence for several methods of gendered sexual socialization. Teachers and children were unbothered by and even encouraged heterosexual behavior among the children. For example, teachers encouraged (or at least did not discipline) heterosexual romantic play among the children, including kissing and boyfriend-girlfriend relationships.
Further, they viewed the hand-holding of boys with girls as romantic. In contrast, teachers described same-gender hand-holding as friendly instead of romantic. This sent the message to children that heterosexuality had more value than same-gender attraction. Girls would kiss other girls but checked to ensure an adult was not looking beforehand, suggesting they knew this behavior would be discouraged. Girls were not observing looking out for adults before kissing boys.
Children also learned that boys have power over other children’s (girls’) bodies. Gansen (2017, p. 264) shares a snippet of her field notes as evidence of this finding:
Desmond caught up with Aisha, tackled her to the floor, and began slapping her on the bottom. Three teachers were monitoring the small playground but none of them intervened and Desmond continued to slap Aisha on the bottom until she wiggled away from him.
C. J. Pascoe (2007) made related observations at a high school in California. For example, school dress codes often reflect gender biases. The schools disciplined girls for wearing clothing that showed “too much skin,” such as tank tops, but did not punish boys for wearing similar clothing styles. From daycares to high schools, girls learn that their bodies may be subject to rules not applied to boys.
Peers are another source of gender socialization and gendered sexual socialization. For example, Gansen (2017) finds that children do not allow cross-gender roles during imaginative play (such as playing house). Among high school students, Pascoe (2013) reports that bullying is a form of gendered socialization. Boys used homophobic slurs against heterosexual boys to enforce masculinity norms. Moreover, teachers do not intervene when boys make homophobic remarks (Pascoe, 2007).
In daycares, same-gender attraction is discouraged by peers and teachers and in high schools, homophobia is tolerated. Therefore, children learn powerful lessons which reinforce heteronormativity even if these lessons are not an explicit feature of the curriculum.
Photo 8.10
Bullying is a Form of Gendered Socialization
Bullied boy feeling ashamed… [Photograph]. Motortion from Getty Images via Canva Pro.
Gender socialization during childhood prepares them for gendered roles as adults, including in the workplace. Such socialization reinforces gender stratification. Work, in particular, is a place where people spend a great deal of their adult lives. Moreover, it is one of the key institutions that uphold gender stratification.